What is ‘chemistry’ in a new relationship and do men and women feel it differently? What kind of reactions does it produce and how can people understand it better? Learn three tips about chemistry in profiles and on dates.
Women are much more intuitive. This top dating tip is aimed at both men and women. At men – to explain what it means, and at women so that they can maybe understand the limitations that some men may have in understanding this term.
Top Dating Tip # 1 – Is it in the Profile?
Sometimes, ‘chemistry’ is mentioned explicitly in the narrative (free format) part of a female profile, where it is more important than in a drop-down box. More important because the lady has written it freely in the narrative section without prompting. I don’t know a lot about male profiles (except my own), but I guess there are some guys who do put it in their profiles – I would think that it is rare though.
Ladies are much more tuned in to chemistry than men, and consequently react in ways which men cannot always understand – now there’s a revelation! Nevertheless, I know some ladies who are much less tuned to chemistry so it doesn’t apply universally.
Those women who do figure chemistry to be very important in a relationship generally have a higher emotional component in their character. If you are a guy looking for a girl, then those girls’ profiles where ‘chemistry’ is mentioned in the narrative section may indicate that the profile owner has a higher emotional component in their makeup and relies more on intuition in their decisions.
Top Dating Tip #2 – Tune In to Yourself
Chemistry is not about reactions in the lower body regions, though that can be a part of it. You do have to meet to find out if it’s there. maybe ‘electricity’ is a better word. Have you ever detected that when you have met someone? Real chemistry will intensify a feeling that you really want to know more about the other person, that he or she excites and interests you and you want to meet again as soon as possible and develop deeper communication.
Many years ago I was talking to someone (in a small room) and a lady came into the room approaching from behind me. I had not met or seen her before. She passed behind me within eighteen inches and spoke as she did so. The hair on the back of my neck immediately stood up and I had other immediate physical reactions, before I had even seen her, all in a matter of seconds. It was an eery and exciting event, but I still recall it to this day. Psychologists will tell you that eighteen inches (about half a metre) is a critical distance for a human being – we are very uncomfortable if people invade that zone behind us. This is why detectives interviewing suspects may approach from the rear – to get in their space and make them feel uncomfortable.
So, there are physical reactions – call it chemistry – related to proximity of people and interaction. These effects can be both positive and negative.
If it isn’t there at first date then it will probably not develop later. So when you are on a date, watch for those effects such as:
– A heightened state of awareness
– Raised heartbeat
– Maybe some sweating
– You are unaware at what is going on around you
– Complete focus on the other person
– Maybe a strong desire to touch the other person
– Wanting to stand closer together
– And yes, there may be other reactions too!
Top Dating Tip #3 – Observe your Date
Chemistry ideally needs to be two-way for the strongest effects, but that doesn’t mean that the potential relationship will be doomed if the chemistry is one-sided; some people are naturally ‘cooler’ with a lower emotional/chemistry component.
So, when you have that first date, watch the other person’s reactions – and if you don’t know anything about body language then get a book or DVD about it – it really is a fascinating area which can also be of use in your job or career.
Their reactions go beyond body language if chemistry is present. And, if the date is going really well, why not just bring ‘chemistry’ up as a topic of conversation – find out whether they think it is important, whether they have ever experienced it, what they think the symptoms are!
Hopefully, if the date is going really well and two-way chemistry is there, then you will probably forget all this and be completely involved in the interaction. So, guys – tune in to chemistry, and girls – you could be saying something unintended about yourself if you include ‘chemistry’ in your profile!