Dating

One of the Biggest Mistakes Singles Make In a New Relationship

Exploring a new relationship with someone is both an exhilarating experience and a frightening one. Here you are opening your heart, soul and body to someone with wild abandon and love with absolutely no commitment or guarantee of any future. There is immense possibility for creating the relationship of your dreams on the one hand, and great risk and uncertainty on the other. Somewhere, you know, without a commitment or promise, you could be abandoned or rejected and deeply hurt at any time.

It is challenging to open your heart to someone so completely with no promise or certainty. The discomfort of “not knowing” the future that comes with the joy and exhilaration of intimate bliss can be emotionally quite unsettling. The unsure mind wants to comfort itself with “knowing” the future and attempts to answer questions like, “Is this “the One?” Are we going to be together forever? Does he or she love me? Do I love them? Is this what I really want? Am I settling? Will I be happy?”

Unfortunately, trying to answer these questions too soon results in people rushing into making relationship determinations and decisions before their time, or forcing others to do so. This focus on determining the future gets in the way of allowing the relationship to organically unfold. People end and start relationships too quickly because they cannot stand to be with the uncertainty of the questions.

In truth, it takes time to assess whether or not you are willing to commit and spend your life with another. It takes recurrence with someone over time to know whether or not you can trust one another, work through breakdowns together as they arise, create new experiences harmoniously together, successfully fulfill your desires and take care of your needs, etc… It can sometimes take people a couple of years before they feel resolved enough in their relationship choice to commit to marriage. So what do we do with all the emotional discomfort in the meantime?

Make peace with the questions, both yours and theirs. They may be here awhile. Know that questions do not necessarily mean you do not want to be together or that you don’t love each other. Expand yourself to include both the deep love you are experiencing with your new partner and the questions that abound. The questions are part of the dating process.

Focus on the now as much as possible. Instead of future thinking, focus on what is good and wonderful about your relationship now. Enjoy the experience you ARE having, not the one you imagine you will NOT BE having later. Be in a mood of appreciation and gratitude for the wonderful experiences you ARE sharing together. Speak them out loud to each other. This practice will soothe your fears.

Instead of asking future questions that instill doubt and fear, ask questions that instill joy, confidence and hope. Ask questions like, “How can I express my love more today? Where can I be more honest and transparent? How would I be if I trusted the perfect unfolding of this relationship? How would I be if I knew this was my perfect partner or a divinely inspired step towards my perfect partner?”

And most importantly make sure to keep nourishing yourself outside the relationship. Take bubble baths, listen to uplifting music, get together with friends, dance, exercise, meditate, get emotional support from a coach, keep working on your own personal development, etc. Participating in activities and engaging in practices that keep you feeling good about yourself are crucial. They will help you stay centered and expand your emotional capacity to deal with the uncertainty inherent in the initial phases of courtship.

Lastly, know that your questions will get answered over time, almost by themselves. Allow love to flourish and take you where it wants to go. As much as possible, enjoy the rush that comes from the unfolding of love, and don’t rush to decide where it will all end up too quickly. If you do, you may very well prevent love from growing at all.



Source by Sonika Tinker

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may also like

Politics

E-Governance

1.INTRODUCTION:

World economies have recognized Information Technology as an effective tool in catalyzing the economic activity in efficient governance and in developing human resource. They have made significant investments in it and successfully integrated it with the development process, thereby reaping the benefits to their society. In India also, these developments have impacted the industrial, education, service and Government sectors and their influence on various applications is increasingly being felt of

late.

As the era of digital economy is evolving, the concept of governance has assumed significant importance. The e-Governance has consequently become an accepted methodology involving the use of Information Technology in improving transparency, providing information speedily to all citizens, improving administration efficiency and improving public services such as transportation, power, health, water, security and municipal services.

India has been harnessing the benefits provided by the Information & Communication

Technologies to provide integrated governance, reach to the citizens faster,provide efficient services and citizen…

Read More
Politics

5 Basics To Protect Your Health During A Pandemic

This year, 2020, will be remembered, unfortunately, as the year of this horrific pandemic, which has seen over 50 million worldwide cases, and over 10 million cases in the United States, as well as about a million deaths, throughout the world, and nearly 250, 000 fatalities, in this nation. Some articulate, a variety of inane concepts, and theories, including, herd immunity, pandemic – fatigue, or, it will all go away, by itself, etc, but, if we wish, to address this virus, and begin to reduce the public health risks, we need to take personal responsibility, to protect our health, and well – being, during a pandemic. With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, 5 basic steps, to achieve this.

1. Wear a mask: Why has wearing a mask, become a political discussion? Nearly, every public health expert, states, if, everyone, simply wore…

Read More
Travel

Introducing Mauritius

One captivating island that is not yet discovered by a lot of people is Mauritius Island. Although not as popular as the other islands in the world, Mauritius has its own promise of enchantment you would not want to miss.

Mauritius is an island in the Indian Ocean. It is located off the coast of Africa and lies east of Madagascar. Long before it was named after Prince Maurice, who was the Prince of Orange and Count of Nassau, it were the Arab traders who set foot on this island back in the 10th century. However, it was the culture of the Dutch that made great influence on the island when they used it as a supply base. When the Dutch decided to desert the island, the French came. Then the British got hold of the island through the Treaty of Paris before they finally became independent in 1968.

Due to…

Read More
Travel

Ten Steps to Improve Hospitality Communication

You’re celebrating your anniversary at a nice restaurant, you order your favorite meal, it’s going to be a wonderful night… but the waiter is in a bad mood, the order is late, and the food is not what you wanted, you can hear an argument in the kitchen… You won’t be going to that restaurant again, and you’ll tell all your friends too.

Bad communication is bad news anywhere, and in the hospitality industry in particular. So how can we prevent Hospitality communication calamities?

1. Have well-trained staff. If you can’t hire well trained staff, find people who are keen workers and willing to learn, and train them yourself. In fact, some employers prefer to train their own staff, rather than re-train experienced staff to meet their standards. Well trained staff is the key to providing professional service.

2. Hospitality is all about service; stress that to your staff. Hospitality staff often…

Read More
Travel

Perth International Airport

Hire Car At Your Fingertip

Perth International Airport Background

The 4th busiest airport in Australia, Perth international airport is situated just outside Perth in Australia. It has three terminals – an international terminal (T1) and two domestic terminals (T2&T3). The building of the international terminal is located 17km from Central Perth and the two domestic terminals about 12 km from the main district of the city.

Perth City

Perth is the capital of Western Australia, which is Australia’s largest state. Interestingly, Perth is geographically closer to East Timor and Jakarta, Indonesia, than to Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane.

Perth is nestled in the Swan river, which flows back to the Indian ocean. Perth has the most captivating beaches in Australia.

Tourists’ Itch

As you land in one of the three airport terminals, we can understand the tourist(s) itch you must be having on your feet to explore and get a feel of this beautiful Australian city. You…

Read More
Politics

How to Become a Journalist

Journalism is a very competitive field and one of the most exciting as well. If you love to gather interesting information, analyzing and reporting them and disseminating them to the general public, then a journalism career is for you. Journalism jobs in London are in demand as media companies and publishing houses are always on the lookout for fresh journalists.

Journalism jobs vary but the most popular include working in a newspaper or broadcasting station. Entry level positions for fresh graduates are available in these job sectors. Once you’ve gained experience or had taken advance courses in journalism, you can land better jobs as a reporter, commentator, sports and weathercaster, and anchor. Others become news writers, columnists, and correspondents.

Educational Requirements

Journalists must possess exemplary knowledge and skills in the English language. They have to be proficient in both written and oral communication. As such, they must have a degree in English…

Read More
Travel

Seychelles Vacation – The Best Time For Your Travel to Seychelles

When is the best time for a holiday in Seychelles? This is a question I get asked very often. And the answer really is an issue that has nothing to do with Seychelles at all. First, I must say, for a vacation in Seychelles there is no “best time” of year. It is pleasant 365 days in these islands. So…

Right now with prices being low, not cheap but definitely more affordable if you’re on a budget, now is a very good time for that Seychelles holiday. But before you rush off to buy a ticket to Seychelles today I would suggest you plan well and you keep yourself informed of special offers, especially during the off-season.

Why the off-season? It is because that might be the very best time for your own holiday depending on your situation. Knowing all that will ensure the very best holiday in Seychelles for you….

Read More
Travel

Discover the Beauty of Dominica by Planning a Vacation

A proper plan is necessary for almost anything. Even if you want to lead a successful and happy life you need to plan it properly. Similarly of you want to go for a vacation you need to plan it in the best possible way. Planning can sometimes seem to be a bit tough because there are so many things to consider.

When you plan for a vacation the first thing that you need to do is plan your budget. You need to find out how much you will be able to spend and depending on that you need to take the other decisions. You must always remember that some places are more costly than the others. If you are looking forward to spend some time on a wonderful beach then you can think about choosing Dominica. The Dominican islands are also called the nature islands because of the natural beauty…

Read More