If this Valentines Day was typical, the flower and candy industry will make up for most of their financial losses on this day. They will sell every gift and teddy bear the public can afford and in some cases can’t afford. However what they will not tell you is that by purchasing that candy, those flowers, that bear, you may in fact actually be destroying your relationship. It’s not that those things are not good, they are.
The problem in so many relationships occurs a few weeks after Valentines Day. On Valentines Day, every woman observes what her husband or boyfriend is truly capable of romantically. The problem is that most men have no intention of keeping up that intensity level of romance. Why? Well, many men like feel as though it would be unreasonable to do so. For those men I offer 7 simple secrets to keep the fire in your relationship burning beyond Valentines Day.
Simple Secret # 1 Ask the Everyday Question
Ask the average man if women talk too much and he will happily say, “YES”. The truth is though; most men do not realize that a woman’s number two (2) need is communication. To keep the flame in a relationship burning, men must ask there wives about their day. Then shut up and listen…and listen…and listen…and listen.
Simple Secret # 2 Answer the Everyday Question
Tthe next step is to be prepared to answer the everyday question. If communication is truly a deep need for woman, it means men must have something to contribute to the conversation. Inevitably after applying simple secret #1, men will hear something like, “and how was your day”. The temptation is to simply say “fine” or “okay” however to keep the flame burning, men must provide their wives with a detailed account of their day from the moment they awaken up to the moment he returned home from work. This is hard for men I know but it must be done.
Simple Secret # 3 Maintain a Steady Date Night
Listen up gentlemen. No woman dreams as a little girl that she will grow up to be a house wife that is taken for granted by her husband. She never wrote in her diary that her secret fantasy was to never see the inside of a nice restaurant except on her birthday, Valentines Day and her anniversary. To keep the flame in your relationship burning, you must establish with her and maintain a regular “date night” each week. Work with her and identify an evening where you will go out as you once did long ago. No one else is allowed to participate and no one else is allowed to break the established day and time of date night.
Simple Secret # 4 Put the Kids to Bed
Every woman I know gives a tremendous amount of energy to her kids, husband and job. A man, must be sensitive to the demands that are constantly placed on her. The average woman works between 15 and 17 hours per day. Factor in the efforts getting the kids ready for school in the morning, working all day, then helping the kids with their homework, cooking and serving dinner then putting the kids to bed at night, it’s clear this fact to be true. To keep the relationship burning, at least once a week, take the initiative to get the kids ready for bed. Give them their bath, help them brush their teeth, read them a bedtime story, tuck them in and pray with them. Note: Kids may be shocked at your presence during bedtime but don’t let that discourage you. Keep this up at least two (2) times a week.
Simple Secret # 5 Invest in a Bottle of Bubble Bath
While putting the kids to bed, what might your wife be doing? To keep the fire burning in, men must prepare a nice hot bubble bath. This will keep her in the bathroom away from the activities of the kids’ preparation for bedtime. Prepare the tub, add the bubbles and run the water. Do not let her do any of this. This way, you can chase the kids around the house and get them to bed before she gets out of the tub. Note: An advanced secret is that after her bubble bath, offer her a massage.
Simple Secret # 6 Clean Up After the Kids
In my home, we fold clothes, wash dishes, vacuum, and make beds. Whatever it takes to lighten a wife’s load, should be done. Keep the flame burning. Find every opportunity to become a burden bearer for that special woman. See the kids made mess in their room, don’t walk around it. Take the initiative to clean up any mess before she does. Practice uncommon cleanliness and watch the difference it makes in a relationship.
Simple Secret # 7 Pay Attention
Men true romance has nothing to do with flowers or candy at all. In fact true romance can be summed up in one simple phrase. To women, true romance means simply that as a boyfriend or husband are proactively meeting her unspoken needs. Serious about keeping the fire burning in your relationship? Become a student of that woman. Is she concerned about her weight. Why not invest in one of the many diet programs and participate with her. Discover all over again what she likes and doesn’t like. Go to a restaurant and order a meal along with desert for her without her being there to tell you what she wanted? As a child what did she always want to be when she grew up? Really pay attention to her. Begin to listen and take notes if need be. Anticipate her needs, lighten her load and tell her how special she is. Do this and guarantee that the fire will continue to burn in long after Valentines Day.